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From Loss to Life
This blog is written by SIDS America co-founder, Cheryl Darnell, whose son Billy died from SIDS. The thoughts reflected here come from Cheryl's heart to encourage others who are also experiencing the death of a child from SIDS. Her desire is that you might find hope and healing through her words and know that you are not alone.
Brokenness, Comfort, Death, Encouragement, Faith, God's Promises, Grief, Healing, Heaven, Holidays, Hope, Loss of Baby, Loss of Hopes & Dreams, Scriptures, SIDS, SIDS Support, Songs That Heal, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
Holidays can be so difficult for grieving families. Festive cheer surrounds us, yet for those grieving such devastating loss, it can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness. Grieving families may not feel like celebrating, and others may or may not understand. The absence of our babies looms heavily over us, and we can hardly find reason to be joyful at a time that causes such deep pain.
A mother from our Dallas Support Group sent me an email recently in which she referenced Luke 2:19 from the Bible: "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." It's right in the midst of the Christmas story- Mary is holding her newborn son in a humble stable, a mass of angels breaks through heaven to sing of the King who has come to save the world, and after shepherds witness the miracle themselves, they begin a mass communication effort to get the word out that God had come- as a helpless, human baby- to earth. Amid all the fanfare from the...
Anger, Brokenness, Comfort, Death, Doubting God, Encouragement, Faith, Family & Friends, Grief, Healing, Hope, Loss of Baby, Loss of Faith, Loss of Hopes & Dreams, Prayer, SIDS, SIDS Support, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
"Where was God when my baby died?"
It's a question asked by nearly every grieving SIDS family. And I found an insightful response to it in a blog posted yesterday on CNN. The blog was also addressing the question, "Where was God?," in reference to the recent mass shooting spree in which a gunman took the lives of 12 people and left many others injured in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, on July 20.
Rob Brendle, the author of this particular blog, also happens to be the pastor who came to see us in the hospital in March 2008 as we held Billy, lifeless, in our arms. While I couldn't tell you exactly what Rob said because my mind was in such shock that morning, I will always remember the peace that held my heart when he spoke to us in that hospital room- and as he shared a hope-filled, life-giving message at our son's memorial service. The man is not just gifted- he cares about people, he listens to God, and he speaks to our minds the...
Brokenness, Comfort, Death, Depression, Doubting God, Encouragement, Faith, Family & Friends, Father's Day, Grief, Healing, Heaven, Holidays, Hope, Loss of Baby, Loss of Hopes & Dreams, SIDS, SIDS Support, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, What to Say & What Not to Say
Today I write to the dads who have suffered the death of a child to SIDS. I was inspired to write this by the love and concern of a very close friend of ours. Separate from her constant checking in on me, she would consistently check on Bill and ask him specifically how he was doing for over a year after Billy died. That meant so much to my husband, and it had a significant impact on his healing. Thank you, dear, dear friend. :)
Much attention, empathy, and sympathy is poured out to mothers upon the loss of a child.
But what about the dads?
Weeks after our son died, my husband commented, "There seems to be lots of support available for mothers, but I kind of feel lost as a grieving dad."
It's not often we hear men talk about being sad. Men and women certainly grieve differently, but I wonder if our culture really even allows for men to fully grieve at all. Perhaps dads feel an expectation to hold...
Comfort, Death, Encouragement, Faith, Fear, Grief, Guilt, Healing, Loss of Baby, Scriptures, SIDS, SIDS Awareness, SIDS Support, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
With October being SIDS Awareness Month, the American Academy of Pediatrics has released a new recommendation for safe sleep practices for infants. The AAP states, "Bumper pads should not be used in cribs. There is no evidence that bumper pads prevent injuries, and there is a potential risk of suffocation, strangulation or entrapment." (http://www.aap.org/pressroom/sids.pdf)
KRDO Channel 13 in Colorado Springs, CO, asked to interview us to get SIDS America's opinion on the new recommendation. You can click here to watch the video: http://www.krdo.com/health/29521577/detail.html
Dr. Hannah Kinnney, with Children's Hospital Boston in Massachusetts, led the breakthrough study revealing in February 2010 a link between SIDS and low...
Brokenness, Comfort, Doubting God, Encouragement, Faith, Grief, Healing, Heaven, Hope, Loss of Baby, Loss of Faith, Loss of Hopes & Dreams, SIDS, SIDS Support, Songs That Heal, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
Songs can bring incredible healing, and when a song is inspired by the Word of God, which is living and powerful, it can minister to a broken heart like no other words can. One such song was sent to me just after our son died. I will confess, it took me about 3 MONTHS before I even took the packaging off the CD. People grieve differently, and for me, I was just very silent for the first couple months. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to read any books about grief. And worship- which had always been "my escape"- my place where I felt closest to the Lord- now was extremely painful. I didn't know if I really believed what I was singing anymore. How could I worship or praise my God in the midst of wanting to blame Him for my tragedy?
Then I heard this song. I played it by myself in my room one afternoon. And I wept. For what seemed like hours. I played the song over- and over- and over. The words consumed me- and became my own cry- my desperate attempt to find the...
Brokenness, Comfort, Death, Encouragement, Faith, Grief, Healing, Hope, Loss of Hopes & Dreams, Scriptures, SIDS, SIDS Support, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
For a family who has suffered the death of a child to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), a great part of grieving their baby's death involves missing memories and milestones that never were....grieving the loss of the hopes and dreams you expected to experience with your child.
One such dream is the day you send your child off to school. Three simple words, "Back-to-School," can evoke a vast array of emotions and meanings for parents, but at the end of a long, hot summer, the general consensus among parents and kids is a feeling of anticipation and excitement. Yet the season can also cause great sadness to well up in the hearts of parents who have suffered the death of a child.
Personally, I have some mixed emotions about it this year. Our "big girl" is entering Kindergarten, and boy have we been so excited about school supplies and school clothes. (never knew the delight that a pair of blunt scissors and a gluestick could bring!)
But then I was...