Healing Song - 'Held" - Written by Christa Wells and sung by Natalie Grant

Songs can bring incredible healing, and when a song is inspired by the Word of God, which is living and powerful, it can minister to a broken heart like no other words can. One such song was sent to me just after our son died. I will confess, it took me about 3 MONTHS before I even took the packaging off the CD. People grieve differently, and for me, I was just very silent for the first couple months. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to read any books about grief. And worship- which had always been "my escape"- my place where I felt closest to the Lord- now was extremely painful. I didn't know if I really believed what I was singing anymore. How could I worship or praise my God in the midst of wanting to blame Him for my tragedy?

Then I heard this song. I played it by myself in my room one afternoon. And I wept. For what seemed like hours. I played the song over- and over- and over. The words consumed me- and became my own cry- my desperate attempt to find the God who promised to hold me as my life was shattered before me.

The song is "Held," written by Christa Wells and sung by Natalie Grant. You can find it on our website at http://sidsamerica.org/sids-resources/songs-for-comfort-and-healing.

The lyrics are:

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope if born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our Savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
[Repeat Chorus]

 

Before you read on, listen to it, let the words sink in, and let God speak to your heart Himself.

Here's what I journaled about the song when I listened to it three months after my son died:

The 3rd line- 'They had no sudden healing.'

That is true, I think. I don't believe there is such a thing as 'sudden healing' in grief-- It is a long, slow, HARD process. A dear friend reminded me that "patience" is often used interchangeably in the Bible with the original word 'longsuffering' as a fruit of the Spirit. Patience, to me, means waiting for something. Longsuffering seems to involve much more-- pain and endurance over a long stretch of time....not exactly a fruit I'd be jumping at the chance to receive...but a fruit of the Spirit, nonetheless- and one which God is developing in me, not by choice but by circumstances completely and horrifyingly out of my control.

The 12th, 13th, & 14th lines- 'This is what it means to be held, how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life, and you survive....'

I'm actually surprised that I didn't die the day my son died. My world and life were shattered- and through the blurring of my pouring tears, I couldn't possibly see any way I'd live through this. Jesus must have been holding me. The first few nights after Billy died, Bill and I took our Ambien pills and just cried and cried and cried and cried-- sitting in our bed with our moms standing beside each of us, holding us until the Ambien literally shut us down to sleep.

The chorus states another profound truth, too-- 'The promise was that WHEN everything fell'-- not IF everything fell-- 'we'd be held.' 

I'm curious to know if the last part, where she sings, 'If hope is born of suffering....can we not wait, for one hour, watching for our Savior?' had some reference to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus asked His sleeping friends why they couldn't watch with Him 'one hour.' He prayed that 'the hour might pass' from Him, too. I believe God is saying that if we can wait 'our hour,' suffer 'our hour,' watching expectantly for Jesus, we WILL see our Savior-- and hope and promises that we would never imagine could come from such deep, dark sadness. "Seeing Him" will of course happen when we enter Eternity with him....but I believe we'll see Him....and His hope and promises- this side of Heaven, too. 

Christa Wells, who wrote "Held", blogs about the stories behind her song. You can read these amazing testimonies at http://www.christawellsmusic.com/2010/06/07/283/. I think it will bring even more encouragement to you.

0 Comments

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.