Faith

Giving Thanks in the Midst of Suffering

Posted Wed, 11/23/2011 - 08:53 by Cheryl Darnell

For those grieving the loss of a child to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), holidays can be really tough. Sometimes we simply go through the motions with the least exertion of effort, just trying to "make it through." And that's okay.

But it's also okay to enjoy the holidays. It's okay to find joy in other things while also deeply grieving the loss of your child. In fact, it is those sources of joy that will spark glimmers of hope and help bring healing to your heart over time.

What's the Big Deal About Crib Bumpers (and other SIDS Risk Factors)?

Posted Tue, 10/18/2011 - 04:04 by Cheryl Darnell

With October being SIDS Awareness Month, the American Academy of Pediatrics has released a new recommendation for safe sleep practices for infants. The AAP states, "Bumper pads should not be used in cribs. There is no evidence that bumper pads prevent injuries, and there is a potential risk of suffocation, strangulation or entrapment." (http://www.aap.org/pressroom/sids.pdf)

KRDO Channel 13 in Colorado Springs, CO, asked to interview us to get SIDS America's opinion on the new recommendation. You can click here to watch the video: http://www.krdo.com/health/29521577/detail.html

Healing Song - 'Held" - Written by Christa Wells and sung by Natalie Grant

Posted Tue, 09/20/2011 - 14:48 by Cheryl Darnell

Songs can bring incredible healing, and when a song is inspired by the Word of God, which is living and powerful, it can minister to a broken heart like no other words can. One such song was sent to me just after our son died. I will confess, it took me about 3 MONTHS before I even took the packaging off the CD. People grieve differently, and for me, I was just very silent for the first couple months. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to read any books about grief. And worship- which had always been "my escape"- my place where I felt closest to the Lord- now was extremely painful. I didn't know if I really believed what I was singing anymore. How could I worship or praise my God in the midst of wanting to blame Him for my tragedy?

"Back to School" for Families Enduring SIDS

Posted Mon, 08/08/2011 - 14:28 by Cheryl Darnell

For a family who has suffered the death of a child to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), a great part of grieving their baby's death involves missing memories and milestones that never were....grieving the loss of the hopes and dreams you expected to experience with your child.

One such dream is the day you send your child off to school. Three simple words, "Back-to-School," can evoke a vast array of emotions and meanings for parents, but at the end of a long, hot summer, the general consensus among parents and kids is a feeling of anticipation and excitement. Yet the season can also cause great sadness to well up in the hearts of parents who have suffered the death of a child. 

Personally, I have some mixed emotions about it this year. Our "big girl" is entering Kindergarten, and boy have we been so excited about school supplies and school clothes. (never knew the delight that a pair of blunt scissors and a gluestick could bring!) 

Coming to a Crisis of Faith

Posted Sat, 07/23/2011 - 21:48 by Cheryl Darnell

I had a conversation with a precious mother who lost her son to SIDS and was experiencing a crisis of faith. The death of her child caused her to intensely struggle with doubt over what she previously believed to be true about God and His love for her. 

I know that through your grieving the loss of your baby that you, too, may be really wrestling with God, questioning, and not wanting "rote religious answers" to the very real pain you have been going through. If you've come to a crisis of your faith in your suffering, it's okay! God can certainly handle our being real with Him. In fact, He wants nothing else BUT for us to come to Him with our honest feelings and thoughts.

Frozen in Time

Posted Tue, 10/20/2009 - 08:55 by Cheryl Darnell

What parent doesn’t enjoy proudly displaying photos of their kids? Come on...our kids grace just about every wall of our home. And I am truly blessed to have a mother-in-law who has generously made it a tradition to have her grandkids’ photos taken professionally every year. We got new shots done of Avery and Nathan just last week.

Sometimes it’s very difficult for me when I switch out photos to update my children’s pictures. I have photos on top of our mantle of all three kids. But only 2 get switched out regularly. Billy’s remains his 4 1/2 month photo in his adorable blue corduroy overalls. It’s a painful reminder of my inability to watch Billy grow up. As I notice the changes in Avery and Nathan as they grow and mature, I wonder what Billy would have looked like at each photo change.

Running Patiently

Posted Tue, 10/13/2009 - 17:50 by Cheryl Darnell

The following is an excerpt from my journal 7 months after our son Billy died of SIDS. We had sold our home in Colorado, relocated to Texas in a temporary corporate apartment, boarded our cats, and were trying to figure out what to do next with our life.

October 30, 2008 -- Wow. What an amazing devotional I read today. It’s from L.B. Cowman’s Streams in the Desert, a devotional collection that has ministered to me several times over since I received it in college. This entry is from George Matheson. I’ve never thought about Hebrews 12:1, “Let us run with patience,” in this particular way.

Matheson says the word “running” suggests the absence of patience and an “eagerness to reach the goal.” But we consider patience to be associated with standing still.

Darkness Before the Dawn

Posted Tue, 10/13/2009 - 17:28 by Cheryl Darnell

When people visit this website, we want them to immediately sense peace... hope... healing. This “hope” that we speak of is not empty platitudes or “feel good” philosophy. Itʼs truth from the Word of God. But itʼs not like one day our son died, and the next day, week, or even month we were hopeful, happy, and healed. We ourselves have doubted and wrestled with the truth that speaks of hope and healing.

We understand that your life, heart, and dreams have been shattered. Because ours were, too. We know youʼre struggling just to survive another day. Weʼve been there. We are very much acquainted with feelings of grief, anger, despair, and depression.

Godʼs peace was with us even as we held Billy in the hospital, lifeless and cold in our arms. Godʼs healing began in those first few hours after our tragedy.